Healing Yourself After a Trauma
From time to time, we all experience unfortunate events, situations, and traumas. Although traumas might involve physical injuries and damage, they can also be emotional. If unaddressed, the results of these emotional experiences can last for years.
After years of abuse, I still have triggers that have not been addressed. I sleep maybe 4 hours a night and mostly in terror. Even a house fire we had years ago haunts me to this day. I have a difficult time NOT turning around to tripled check that no candles are lit or the stove isn't mistakenly on.
When I divorced, my ex put me through Hell, using the courtroom as a weapon. Every few months, I was forced to defend myself over his version of the truth and he was cunning enough to have me thrown in jail. Again, using the courts as a way to keep his abuse up. This of course caused unnecessary trauma to myself and to my daughter. We just simply never know when he is going to come after us and what stunt he will try next. Even with a permanent restraining order and a several hundred-mile distance, he is still cunning enough to drag me back to court over nonsense. I understand trauma and have healed some wounds. I do admit, I have a few more but at least I am getting closer to closing those wounds too!
(The judicial system is a completely different conversation but I can state that it is more screwed up than we ever imagined true. Of course, a person would not know until they have been through this journey. I totally believe the judicial system needs to be gutted.)
Today, we’re focusing on the emotional aspects of trauma and what you can do to help your recovery. Take some time to look back at your life and see if there are any old hurts that could use your attention. You can also use this as a guide the next time you experience an intense situation that leaves you emotional for a while.
These trauma coping strategies will help you heal:
1. Compliment yourself on making it through. You’re here and you’re alive. Whether your trauma involved only emotions or physical injury as well, the fact is that you’re strong enough to have survived. Journal the story and write the compliment to yourself. This helps you with committing to the compliment.
2. Allow time to recuperate. You may not be completely recovered by next week. Healing from emotional trauma takes time and rest. In the evenings after work, allow yourself some time to relax. Take a bath, read, or watch a comedy to lighten your mood.
3. Take it easy on yourself. Depending on your emotional trauma, you may still be going to work and carrying out your everyday life while you’re healing. Maybe you didn’t finish every task you wanted to complete while at work. Remind yourself that you’re doing what you can to get better and will soon be as efficient as ever.
4. Think positive. Long known to conquer many afflictions, thinking positive thoughts will help you speed up your healing. When you’re thinking troubling thoughts like, “I feel so sad today,” remind yourself, “I’m taking important steps each day to feel better.” Healing takes time!! No magic cures!!
5. Find moments in each day to do what you like to do. Even if it’s just for 30 minutes a day, sit outdoors and watch the birds, work on the bookshelf you’re building, or take a walk. Focusing on the things that lift your spirit is important right now.
6. Let yourself cry. If you feel emotions building up inside you, it’s quite natural to want to release them by having a good cry. Crying will provide some relief and help you leave some of your pain behind you. Go ahead and cry. I think it is important to release your emotions, just don't stay in that state. Refocus and do something that will help you get into a better mental space.
7. Listen to the music you love. Nothing brings joy to the soul in quite the same manner as music. Your prescription is: listen to music each day for at least 15 minutes. Some days you’ll find yourself extending that time a bit and maybe even singing along. Music will help you heal. Singing out loud and dancing helps also. Get into the groove and just let all the emotions roll off you for a song or 5!!
8. Pamper yourself. If ever there’s a time to indulge in the creature comforts you love, it’s when you are healing from trauma. On your day off, lie on the couch and read a book. Play games all day with your kids. Take a nice long walk with your best friend. Snuggle with your pet!
9. Watch comedies!! Laughing is good for your emotional healing process. You’ve probably seen a few comedies that you find humorous and entertaining. Now’s the time to ensure you watch a few every week. This is a bit of healthy escapism.
10. Incorporate physical movement into your day. Provided the doctor says it’s okay, engage in some physical activity each day. Go for a swim. Lift weights, or get on the treadmill. Physical exercise releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormones. Moving your body in any way is helpful. Bellydance! Walk! Ride a bike! Run up and down your stairs.
11. Surround yourself with the people you love. Play with your kids. Talk to your partner. Call your best friend. Invite your brother over for a visit. Remind yourself of all the positive people you have in your life and take advantage of their loving care and support. During Covvid, ZOOM, or Skype!!
12. Recognize when you need professional help. Allowing your emotional injuries to prevent you from living a full life is unproductive, at least after the initial few weeks or months. Instead, call a local mental health professional to help you sort through your challenging times. There are APPS now that offer help as well as Life coaches, Books, and so much info on Youtube!!
Healing emotionally after trauma takes time, patience, and effort. I will tell you to embrace the fact that you are out of that storm that hurt you so deeply. HOWEVER, I also warn that there are no magic pills to silence the pain. Substance abuse will only compound the pain. Getting help and seeking resources will assist you in the healing process. Only time and distance from the situation can help you feel better. The effort will be in all the work you do to cope through the pain. To work on letting it go. Trauma can take years and the real work is finding the hidden triggers that can take you back to the situation. I know there are smells that set me off in the past.
Again, be gentle with yourself and learn how to love yourself again. I know its hard to feel beautiful right now. It's hard to want to go out and be with people The struggle? Is that you need to be with people right now. There is no need to blame yourself, feel guilty, or shame yourself. Its time to love and respect that you were strong enough to get through it and now?
Rebuilding the new version of you and learning how to love yourself in a new amazing way!
Good work today!!!!
Until next time………..
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