I write pieces of my 44-years journey circling this planet. Some are past and some present. The time is not relevant.
It’s the story of healing, hope, transformation, and my overall determination not to give up.
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It’s delightful to wake under the beauty of a sunrise. The delicate dance the sun's rays play off the shadows to give shape to trees, buildings, and objects. The slow rise of the cool air softly blanketing the ground. The animals stretching and beginning their pursuit of breakfast. The bird's choir in full song and the nothingness that brings a feeling of peace in my home.
My mouth is filled with hot southern pecan coffee and my head is filled with dreams. Dreams of what will be and what needs to be created. Pepper is laying next to me with this proud tail wiggle as she is with her buddy and knows life is good. I can feel her hopeful prayer “ pet me!”
There was a time that I accidentally created a world in which chaos was the only thing I was to wake to. Grumpy people ungrateful, demanding to be served. The obligatory morning’s filled with unsatisfactory moments and personal energy wasted. I trudged through my life with emptiness and grief. I attempted to hold onto toxic relationships with people who simply used me. Accepting that life was exploitive rather than reciprocated. Gaining more money simply to fill my life with fancier objects and fake people.
I was constantly in action to “busy me” …..just enough to fill the pain growing inside from being unauthentic. I was NOT living my truth. It became clear as I became sicker.
My soul started to shrink. My heart started to feel nothing. My head began to retreat from joy and dreaming. I would sit on the couch every night, drinking my wine, watching the fireplace flames lash out at each other. A universal vision of my home at this time. No desire to live presently, to dream, to create, or to shine. Just a lump of stardust sitting stagnate in a world I would never enjoy or be IN joy with.
Fast forward through ten years of hard work. I am almost where my soul sings and my heart beats loudly. I am recreating my world to grow, dream, love, and be with like-minded souls who love life. Loving myself and honoring my needs are now a priority when before; I was last to care for.
Now? No one has the privilege to remove my happiness, devalue me, and I am definitely not giving up my dreams for anyone ever again.
😢That almost killed my soul!
Now that I am on “fire” again, I listen with intensity to the Universe calling my name or giving me inspiration. No chaos needed, nor drama. Just awareness, excitement, experience, joy, and adventure. I am in love with life again and can’t wait to see how this new beginning changes how my story ends.
I didn’t realize how much strength and energy I had to change my story.
Now that I know?
Plot twist!!!
Until Next time………
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2828 S Mccall Rd
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