My friend Fear- Excerpt 2016

There are times in our life we drink too much. We eat too much, spend too much, and don’t laugh enough. We have thoughts that range from “this guy is trying to take advantage of me” to “ I am not capable”. Our thoughts circle around, jerking us from one emotion to another without regard to what lies in the middle. The truth. The truth always lies in the middle. Yes, maybe I do need to take classes at a local college to better myself. The truth is? I am afraid that if I do my debt will increase and I will not succeed. That is a truth & a Fear. We cripple ourselves and prevent ourselves from fully living this life because of our friend and protector Fear. Granted, there may be reasons why we cannot see past our own nose but I am telling you that Fear is a large player in our choices. For some, Fear is such a centrally located part of the brain that these people cannot go outside or cannot stop drinking. Fear can immobilize entire cities and keep entire countries in poverty. Fear has a rationale or does it? So why be fearful? What is the purpose of being afraid? This part of our brain tells us that we shouldn’t do because of… ??

Fear is an important internal warning mechanism that will help you if you feel like you are being followed or if you have a suspicion that something is not right. When fear enters every event in your life then you should be concerned. Fear is not to take over but to be an aid or tool. This is the trap. We begin to see fear as a crutch or a device to keep us living without allowing anyone or thing to inflict pain. No more worries would be a blessing but is that possible? Is that real? How can we stop being fearful? I cannot help but become nervous when I turn the news on in the morning and listen to the murders, updates on war-torn countries, and chatter about possible terrorism. I stopped watching the news to reduce the amount of fear and worry that enters my mind. This has worked for me.

The amount of chatter in your daily routine is another form of fear whether it is people talking about someone else at the water cooler at work or the friend gossiping about a neighbor. No one wants to be talked about. So we try to keep our secrets secret even from those we think we trust and slowly over time, we end up separating our true inner self from the world. We keep our lives closely guarded and minimize the amount of contact we have with the outside world. All in honor of our friend Fear. We are terrified to allow our children to stand at the bus stop for any length of time unsupervised because a bad person may be lurking around the corner. We are unable to trust our churches, teachers, and state representatives with our children and our family matters. Our friend Fear reminds us of all the crimes that have been committed by a person or two in these organizations and kindly tells us that they all must be alike. One rotten apple can ruin an entire basket of apples; indeed.

To date, we are unable to trust our mortgage companies, brokers, and financial institutions as this recession has proven to be derived from a handful of scheming types. After the last dip in the Stock Market, I believe coffee can sales rose by 50% and so did the purchase of shovels. We are all pulling our money out of the banks and digging holes in the backyard because we cannot afford to lose any more of our hard-earned money. Well, at least that is what our friend Fear asked us to do. Fear forgot to mention that once your house is foreclosed on that digging up your assets then becomes a crime as that backyard is no longer yours. But we trust fear, even though it doesn’t always tell us the whole story. It does help us avoid hitting a deer or drinking coffee that is too hot. I just don’t think it is as helpful as many others do. I do not think that fear is the most important factor in decision-making. It is a tool but not the only tool to be used. For the most part, Fear is the bigger slice of the pie for us and boy do we consume that piece. We have no reservations about it as we rely on Fear as our trusted advisor our truest friend.

However, we do not realize what a storyteller that Fear can be and how it likes to keep us all to itself. Fear is pretty mindless and selfish at times. Sometimes, fear stops us from pursuing our dreams because if we do? We may not use fear as often or need it as much. So fear becomes a bigger player in our thoughts for its own security. To ensure that it will be around forever. Fear can prevent us from keeping or getting into a really healthy relationship. In fear's eye, this relationship could be so healthy that Fear is no longer needed. So understand that Fear is personal sabotage.

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Rustie MacDonald

Rustie shares her personal journey through severe poverty, rape, abuse, & homelessness in a light-hearted way. Her radio Show: